Ep. 30 – Wait. You’ve Never Seen The Room?

Welcome to our podcast dedicated to discussing well-known movies and TV shows that one of us has never seen. In this episode we’re talking about The Room (2003, Rated R).


You can listen to the show by clicking here.


Here are the links to some of the things we discussed:

The Room IMDb pagePlan 9 from Outer Space IMDb page; Tommy Wiseau’s other work; The Razzies; The Disaster Artist by Greg SesteroThe Disaster Artist IMDb pageRebel Without a Cause IMDb pageRocky Horror Picture Show IMDb page; Audience participation in theater showings of The RoomArrested Development IMDb page; Chicken scenes in Arrested DevelopmentBechdel test pass or fail?Cosmic Potato Podcast Network.

Next time, we’ll be talking about Game of Thrones, so stay tuned!

Rough Transcript of Episode 30 below:

This program is part of the cosmic potato Podcast Network for more shows like this visit our website at cosmic potato dot com. And hi, this is shame. And this is Virginia and this is… Wait, you’ve never seen a podcast dedicated to discussing. Well, no movies and TV shows that one of us has never seen.

And today, we’re discussing. Wait, you’ve never seen the room.

I hate everything about this move.

I hate people who are associated with this movie, I hate the banks that loaned him the money to make this whole… So there’s enough hay and I… Well, I go around, so we’ll get into the financing of this movie, which was solely Tommy was those money his own person wears a movie ever his own personal mysterious fortune. But we should say right off the bat that this is… Or you’re staring at me, and then it’s making me income, so I… And I’m gonna look away at a… So this is our April foray episode.

Yes, I… So I thought, “Well there’s one movie that’s about praying and I’m like, “You’re probably not gonna like the one about pranks and then I’m thinking, “Wait a minute, what better way to celebrate, April, April Fool’s Day than to watch the room, which you…

I can think of 5000 better ways to celebrate April fools’ day, then watch this movie.

I think we’re getting ahead of us. Let me tell you how memorable this movie was for a trigger warning is the first thing I wrote down with students side at the in the man and so I was a sewer about to record this, I said, “Why did I write down suicide as a trigger warning?

You forgot that was… That was the most… So Tommy was though, wanted to make a movie.

Well, I’m just doing trigger warnings, right now, so…

Oh yeah, I’m getting ahead of myself, I… Yeah, because anyway, go ahead. Yeah, but the only other one, the only other trigger warning I have is that Lisa is a liar, about domestic abuse which kind of was pissing me off because the… A lot of people think that women are liars, anyway, so… So I set we have a man tell me… Well, Johnny is the character, but Tommy was was the writer, Dr.

“turan star of this picture.

And the guilty party he is an enormous misogynist.

Clearly, I don’t know if that counts as a trigger warning, but I… He’s a terrible human being. One of the things I wrote down was, let me scroll down to it.

Johnny is a creek. That was before I knew. Okay, let me tell you what happened.

So we, we go here, we’re getting that our audience was not here.

Okay, so you said Let’s watch the room. And I said me “trusting-ly. Okay, let’s watch the room. So as we’re watching it.

And so, Virginia, knew nothing about this movement.

The RO the call following none of it zero. So as I’m trying to give this movie, the benefit of the doubt, I’m writing things down, like Johnny is a creep. This was before I knew this was the worst.

May be ever made.

The you too, sir, have a main… So I was gonna say 30 seconds to realize the one was a great… Oh yeah, definitely, you figured this out.

But yeah, I need to let you… I decided to let you in on the fact that this was arguably one of the worst movies ever, there’s no argument, there’s no argument, it’s the worst movie ever made period. The end for those of us who love to hate Plan 9 from outer space I’ve never seen that, so we’re probably never gonna watch it ’cause now if it’s worse than this movie, we will never watch it.

I probably don’t trust me, now, if I need to say right here, that I was afraid this movie might put a strain on our relationship, and I’m not really joking.

So if you hadn’t have told me This is the worst movie ever made, I don’t know if I would have been able to make it through another… We literally pause it at like seven or 10 minutes. And you told me, I wouldn’t have made it through another 10 minutes of that movie if you would’ve been I would have used our first call it quits bucking bronco theory.

Would you explain bucking bronco by the way? Because I know at least some people that are listening, I was saying that to them, the idea of bucking bronco is you see how many minutes you can stay on the Bronco or in this case the horrible, horrible movie that you do, yes, like sometimes you’ll turn… Well, I will, I will turn something on knowing that it’s gonna be terrible, just to see how long I can last. Not unlike a cowboy, a top, a bucking bronco. And so, yes, if you hadn’t have told me that I would have pulled out, it was so bad, it was so bad, it now, oh my gosh I… That we’re so getting out of herself and that I go.

I had some… So, wait, one of the trigger warnings you have down here just says terrible terrible movie.

People don’t watch this movie.

I don’t waste your time.

Now, there are a… Was your brain cells.

I told you the other day, this movie is probably playing tonight at the Alamo Drafthouse probably with like a midnight show, or a 10 PM. So yes, I… Yeah, it’s a whole thing. So, what’s three things I’m gonna pretend like this is a regular episode, What three things did you expect from this episode? Are we gonna just drop the whole format and just we can have a heat?

I roll things that Okay, I feel bad. So what do I… Things that I felt it’s like I… These are the things that I trust as you want. I just want you to know that this is one of those episodes where I wish this was actually, like we film this true because I don’t wanna look at you, ’cause I’m in Terra go ahead.

I will expect that it’s a comedy, because this is for our April fools’ day, episode.

That kind of is thought it is kind of not… And secondly, I… It is in an… But that the men are rich because they’re wearing black tie, colors on the poster that was not… We can, doesn’t make that post. You did not make any… It is not a… And I expect it will take place in San Francisco because the Golden Gate Bridge was on the poster. Is all poster-related. I had zero clue what you were getting me into a… There’s one main poster for the room, which is just a close-up of… Tommy was looking like he’s gonna punch you in the face, of…

I would have punched him in the face.

And then there’s another one of the three main leads.

And then, in San Francisco in the background.

So at first I thought it might be like I thought the colors, the colors were kind of giving me hints that it might have been like a Regency era sort of historical period piece or what other… But then I noticed that… What’s her name? Lisa had spaghetti straps, on her dress and that would not have foregone.

No Regency era.

I’m right now in… So I did you expect to like that I had no idea or I, I… No idea whether I should I was neutral.

I see no one’s given this many stars. So what was your ex… How many starts did you give this movie before we stand?

I even my standard three stars, because I had no idea what to expect.

And what else you trusted me?

I trusted you, he did them. So sorry, I feel like that’s why I couldn’t, I couldn’t go through the whole movie without explaining and see, here’s the thing, what I was… They’re not hearing the commentary that because we could not contain our commentary in some places, so the audience isn’t even getting the full commentary.

So, we usually do, we usually meaning we usually refrain from just shouting things out but some things need to be shouted.

They do, they do a… So what was your one sentence? TV Guide, summer, I don’t know how it could have been more wrong.

Two rich men and on down to earth woman, accidentally lock themselves into a room and hilarity and sues as they try to escape.

I had high house already. A 900% different. I improvement rather against the actual… Okay, so I think I feel I need to say right up here the… So are you going to read the IMDB description or does IMDB just not even bother putting it?

The, the other the… There’s just a blank now I’m just a… So the room as from 2003, it is rated R, It is 99 minutes, which I can’t even… It felt like, it felt like, I feel we’re…

Oh, oh, oh, oh, so, I… It was way more than that.

I have watched four or five-hour movies that it did not feel as long as this.

So Johnny is a successful banker who lives happily in a San Francisco town house with his fiance, Elisa one day inexplicably she gets bored with him and decides to seduce his best friend Mark from there. Nothing will be this.

See, and I is that really… So you, I am TV since.

That’s really what it says In right-of-And I… That’s surprisingly detailed ’cause not only it’s just like a very vague… Yeah, I don’t know why it was. So, on IMDB, gets… They’re not consistent by the way. I feel I need to say this right, here, that although the movie is called the room, like many important scenes happen in different… It’s not like a movie, so I… The West when in my question, the room does not make anything, it does it in every sense of the It doesn’t…

Oh, are you seeing… What I typed?

Well, I’m just seeing so it…

So I we have coming up, but go ahead.

How things met or didn’t meet your expectations?

All I wrote was worst movie ever made all caps, so it was… What it is and I all copies of this movie should be burned.

I feel that strongly about it.

Wow, not Wait a minute here, this you see, I too.

Now I, the format of this I podcast. But we’re not supposed to look at each other’s screens and we’re just more to let things unfold.

I, I just saw your, your opinion of this moving in starts.

So would you… So I can’t stop you.

It looks like she might pass out babies in gentlemen.

So you stand by it, okay, two things.

He’s gay, you’re crying, she’s literally she’s wiping tears from her eyes.

So two things, you’re trying to tell me that you’re not having fun right now.

I have to call the number of zeros I do three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, years. Okay, 0000000001%. And if you tell me this movie was better than Greece to then… No, so you liked at least one thing about Greece? So, I like half of it. I did like having a… And you gave that 0-1-2-5.Yeah, so, so this is fair.

So look, I’m not a…

I think your stars are measured in microns, in at that point, there’s a way when you’re talking about the world as a very small… And there’s a way to do that notation where instead of like, “You can’t say 900-9000-0 in a row, right?

We that I… Notation, is in to the negative mesh or whatever.

Have I, I almost was gonna ask you if we could give it an honorary zero, because it is just a terrible movie, but he’s not as far as we know, not criminal, like negative stars we’ve decided are for criminals literally criminals in the rest, like for example, a Roman Polanski, movies, right? Yes, if you are probably a a guilty of a crime.

I like Work on return. The United States, because you’ll be a rest.

This is arrested. Yeah, so then you get a… Then you get negative or so. No, I don’t mean to bring down this this fun episode to… So yeah, 000-001 stars. Like just… Just like a dot in a star, so I… So what’s your TV?

No, it’s summary, this is A, the format of the show is dentate.

It does not work for this movie because it’s so terrible.

So I did start to interrupt you when you were giving your… So at least to Johnny because it’s so different from Tommy John. Anyway, Tommy is at least rich in this movie.

The, the character is, at least to Rich.


Okay, that’s you.

So, I, I did that right, it would you like to hear other things that I wrote down before, you told me this was the worst movie ever, maybe which again was within seven minutes of us turning this on.

Go ahead.

Is this a bad porn?

You thought that I was goofing on? You are you cranking me with this movie right now?

Now you thought I was actually ranking you?

Yes, what the plan is. This music ’cause there’s just bad acting. And then in a couple of minutes, there’s like… There were three sex scenes in 25 minutes.

I paused it after the third sex scene, so I could see how long I 36 in 25 minutes. And how long was the movie? 99 minutes, it too.

Look, I like sex as much as the next cow, but I don’t like bad sex multiple times on the screen.

So he didn’t even know what he was doing.

Yeah, it, it looked. We don’t need to describe what it looked like he was it didn’t look like he understood the anatomy of a female exactly.

I skipped his anatomy class in high school.

So we let’s see, Oh, can we talk about the dialogue that was clearly recorded later? And it just made everything sound so fake, even worse than what it was ’cause it took me a while. I don’t think I really realized it until you said “Oh the audio was recorded later because it sounded like just it just sounded like a really bad porn the whole, the whole movie was essentially made by amateurs so all of the onset dialogue had to be completely thrown away, and then everything was done later. And sometimes males are not moving a The… To ambient noise to A… It is, it’s like disturbing quiet.

Yeah, so they would be like, on the roof, and there’s no morals.

Yeah, I as to why, so ever been in something that was not written and directed and produced and whatever by him now, I believe he was in a nine for something or another. Recently, I recently… Yeah, so I… So, get work after this movie.

Well, what happens is people… He’s become this joke and…

Oh, I… No, no, he says is like, “Oh yeah, I meant it to be like, this funny thing. How a… But that’s just not… Did it get a ray?

So just not true.

No, I think they stopped doing the roses after this movie was made.

I’m just getting real quick. There’s a great book about this movie. It’s way, way better.

So anything is better than this movie.

So the guy who plays mark, a on a… Oh yeah, what’s his name, the guy who plays mark?

I mean, he was about 500% better-looking than Tommy, wyso.

It’s true that Tom was just such a Johnny was such a creed and he’s like, everything he said he followed it up with some weird, creepy, laugh.

Yeah, and I can… No, it was as if Johnny didn’t understand what was being said even though even though he wrote the whole thing, it was as if he didn’t understand what he was responding to or saying, and he didn’t a mote or anything he said the same lines if he was angry, it sounded the same, if he was sad, at toned. The same if he was about to have sex with her, it sounded the same, like there was no different in anything he said it was all just like the same, you know, it was kind of like a “arnaldo anger as the terminator, but worse right so, so I just kind of robot it.

So Tommy was though he never wanted to explain to anyone where he was from, or what his real name was or what his real age was or where his money came from, he wanted to be this mysterious man is so with his long dark hair. Is he going for a vampire vibe or something?

It’s often been described as a vampire. And he like, guys, his hair, the same color as clearly the the same color that Ronald Reagan is here.

Yes, all the way through his 80s, right?

So Tommy was always is, I’m not sure how to pronounce it but it’s French for bird or the bird, something like that, and he speaks French, but he’s actually polish, but he tries to hide the fact that he’s Polish, and his money. It’s never clear exactly where his money comes from. There’s lots of different theories out there about, I how he, the actors might many noted the actor.

Tommy tell me the actor.

I put six million dollars of his own money into this movie, he put… I’m not sure how much amount of money into this POI he thought it would be so great.

So all the way through production, all the way the whole time he thought it would be so great that he would definitely get an Oscar so he put up his own money to keep it in theaters, for a total of two weeks because that that is the amount that’s required to be eligible for an Oscar.

See my reaction is totally bad podcasting because I’m just shaking my head like, the… I can’t believe it.

You letting me can’t believe it, I… You’re letting her… I’m looking at that, if the to you finish your thought. I’m looking up at the room that a radio Greg transistor wrote a great book about this movie and the James Franco movie called The disaster artist’ is based on Greg’s book, and it’s about the making of the room, both the book and James as James Frank, goes movie that there is his master artists, ‘the disaster artist’And Greg… Greg Estero de he reads the audio book, the audio, book is very impressive, he does this impression of Tom, was to… So I, so every time Tommy is speaking, he does this impression of Tommy, so Tommy kept trying to shed his access, so his accent isn’t really a Polish accent. It’s not really there’s… There’s no one who speaks exactly like timing do. So there’s a xenophobic thing that I worry about when I watched this movie when people make fun of it ’cause it’s like, “Oh are they making fun of a person who… A non-English speaker, right?

Not to get all serious of… So I was gonna ask about that, but yeah, so it bothers me a little bit, but he just has this ego where he doesn’t care, he’s just gonna power through and I don’t know, I think this transcends no phobia ’cause it’s not like it’s not like I’m making fun of this gentleman, because of his accent. The accent is the sides of the point, he feels like he’s this brilliant actor-writer-director, he thought that when people saw that scene, that you totally forgot I… And I feel like a… And I shouldn’t be lapping about suicide, but like, as you know, I try to pay it. So the fact that it completely forgot it, it just says you so much about this movie.

So do you take notes? You pay attention when you see me for sleep during movies that you want me to much anyway, I… Yeah, he thought that that would just blow everybody’s minds, he thought that it would legitimately be like He’s so I he’s so into his own head, and his own life.

I think we’re dealing more with… This is more with dealing with this man’s ego.

Yeah, then anything else I so I… But yeah, I do worry about the xenophobic.

If people are making fun of his accent, or where he’s from, or whatever that lands in the area of xenophobic. But if they’re saying like you are, you can critique without being xenophobic right?

Some people are gonna swing it, the low-hanging fruit, and that’s terrible for them.

But yeah, I think there’s plenty of valid criticism to be set about master Tommy is a at a I absolutely the… It’s not his accent isn’t funny, it’s his inability to MOT someone with an accent can Mote and I can still see some real emotion, right?

Like when time he goes, “You’re tearing me apart. Lisa, oh my God, it was so lean, not unbelievable in astounding, but I did not believe you anything that he was saying it was.

Now, do you know what he was going for was he trying to be like…

You can’t leave me like that sort of… No, it’s a very specific scene in the specific movie.

Okay, so, so sorry to intonation.

It’s in a…

I’m sorry, that’s okay.

Oh, but it’s from Rebel Without a Cause. James Dean, and I, I don’t know if you ever set, I don’t know if I’ve seen that all.

We just threw in that movie, but anyway, we could watch the movie and they still won’t ruin it completely but there’s a seen where James Dean’s character is drunk and people are like, yelling at him and he was like, “There’s this real emotional thing, and he just start, he just at one point he just explodes, with emotion and you go to scaring me a part.

And so that is why that is why… Well, are you are going with me, that is why that… So I believe the line is in the movie it’s still terrible, at… So James Franco received Oscar attention for the imitation of this man making the worst movie ever made.

That’s ridiculous.

I can find it on the race’s website. RAI people don’t know, it’s the Golden raspberry, it’s the award that sort quote Awards is like a car corporate of the Oscars where it’s like the worst everything.

And so every year, I was looking through the 2000 section to see if the room was in there, but it wasn’t… So do you have more, I mean, are you ready to wrap this up?

I wanna hear what you have to say, but I’m done with what I had written down.

So I just find I say a real briefly that there is… This movie does have a cult following along the level of Rocky who are pictures, he… So, this cannot even believe me, I believe you, but I cannot believe that this movie sucks, so much more than Rocky, or picture show.

So all of the artwork on the… Just to give an example, So Racer picture show when they cling glasses and they’re toasting people throw a bread at the screen, right?

There’s things you need to bring with you, right?

So, you probably didn’t notice you probably didn’t notice but in the room in the movie, the room almost all the artwork hanging up is spoon-related for some reason, and it’s never explained and it’s just ridiculous that they get sexy nothing is explained, so people bring plastic spoons with them and throw spoons, a tea.

I throw a wrote to me them at it.

There’s a whole list that, we may or may not link to on our website to all of the different spin fan. I’m doing air quotes all the fan participation things, but I won’t go through those right now, so I… So I guess, just two more things ’cause she’s staring at me and I’m getting a… So that’s what, just two more things. This movie was recorded at the exact same time with, especially designed rig just for this movie ’cause no one shoots a movie this way, it was shot in both 35 millimeter and HD at the exact same time.

So how does that work?

I don’t know a lot about film making.

So there’s literally a plastic a rig, I don’t know if it’s plastic or metal, that two cameras could sit on the same.

I am on the same tripod, and the capture what was happening. I’m not sure if it was a tripod. Again, it was especially built rig just to shoot two things at the same time.

So let’s see.

So “Arrested Development” is the line can show one of my favorites.

Yes, I believe we watched it together, yeah, right, so one of the memorable scenes is when the… Each of the family members do their own imitation of a chicken.

Oh, and I believe I Thomas called the male that I was called The Mallory she’s also an archer right and Jessica Walter he won waters Walters. I think I don’t have a computer, I can’t look it up right she I believe goes. I do Lolo.

So I had little you just a… A Walter, Jessica Walter there’s another one. Well, anyway, we could probably put that audio in so you don’t have to listen to me. Do all of them.

Well, I’ll put the link on the website because you have to get the visual too, that’s true, it is a visual thing, but I’m just what I’m talking about is basically just… There’s lots of strange ways that Tommy the writer decided to write things, so when he impersonates a chicken, I think a couple of times and he got…

Oh yeah, you see the cheap when he wants to fight mark or something, as like, Oh I, you chicken, I do, I do, I got a, a CO, I cook.

Have you ever seen a chicken in your life?

Have any of you in this family ever seen a chicken?

There are many things that makes this horrible movie great, but I will, I will not thing makes it’s horrible movie. Great, I’m sorry.

It isn’t making fun of it. Kind of make it a… We have been laughing a lot during this. I never wanna watch that movie again. Oh, I’m not saying that we should.

I’m just saying that there’s lots of… At one point, Mark says poor Greg Estero has to say I don’t… Something about, you can put your opinions in your pocket.

Oh God, that was so ridiculous, I… So that reminds me, I… Tommy was was not interested in anyone, like changing his dialogue in any way.

Oh my God, he was… There are some directors who were very precise about things. I like, like Kubrick, Kubrick, was very, very precise about everything, and nothing was… There’s no ad living or… Well, I shouldn’t say no ad living but you could make some things up, but everything need to be planned. And the script was very important. And Tommy as Tommy was the same way.

So anyway I… So the back to test surprisingly, it passes.

Oh my God, oh that’s right, that’s right, ’cause of the mother and Lisa right?

So let me read you an A, what the actual website, the beta test website says that doesn’t say Just please stop watching this.

The teeth while most dialogue, centers around the relationship of lease. And Johnny Lisa and her mother cat. Briefly talk about clout Real Estate problems failed relationships and breast cancer. Lisa and her friend Michelle talk about preparations for an upcoming birthday party was in the birthday party for Johnny though.

Is that the one at…

I get it self-later, I think so.

Oh yeah, I… Anyway, well her and her mom talk wow, but I hated their relationship too, ’cause there she’s like, “You should stay with Johnny because he makes a lot of money on the one. Yeah, well, no, I’m not happy. Well, that doesn’t matter. He makes a lot of men. And they couldn’t remote either, maybe it was Tomas directing them to not vote because that’s the US do not express emotion or a… So do you wanna just stop the party as in A to… So are there any pop culture references that you now understand?

No, because everybody wants to forget the worst movie ever made.

So again I could…

Oh, we could drive to a theater now, and then watch it. We have to want okay that’s not something we could do, we could… Are you gonna physically restrain me from doing…

I’m gonna basically restrain myself from going so I… What would it… So a question we usually ask a this podcast is what would be different with today’s technology, we’re just gonna pass that because… And I don’t care, I don’t care what people think of I don’t… To, so I do care I… So there’s nothing left to this guy. No, I’m sorry, this movie was so terrible.

So again, we’ve been laughing a lot.

Okay, so, so you can find us on iTunes and Stitcher and also on the cosmic potato Podcast Network at cosmic potato dot com Rutan, Crips. And links to what we talked about are available on our website at weight. You’ve never seen dot com or on Facebook and Twitter under weight in… And you can email us at weight you’ve never seen at gmail, dot com.

We leave us some feedback, and let us know if you think Jenny should leave me because they made her watch this movie that or suggestions for movies we should watch.

It’s our show of it today. Next time we’ll be watching the room again, so go ahead and write in. But yes, I will leave it.

So we’ll be watching the very first episode of Game of Thrones just in time for the Eighth and final season premiered.

I do thanks for listening to.


3 thoughts on “Ep. 30 – Wait. You’ve Never Seen The Room?

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