Ep. 34 – Wait. You’ve Never Seen Mars Attacks!?

Welcome to our podcast dedicated to discussing well-known movies and TV shows that one of us has never seen. In this episode we’re talking about Mars Attacks! (1996, Rated PG-13).


You can listen to the show by clicking here.


Here are the links to some of the things we discussed:

Mars Attacks! IMDb pageGalaxy Quest IMDb pageSpaceballs IMDb page; The War of the Worlds IMDb pageThe Day the Earth Stood Still IMDb pageEd Wood IMDb pageIndependence Day IMDb pageMars Attacks! book by The Topps CompanyBechdel test pass or fail?; “Home Again, Rose” episodes of The Golden Girls (7.23 & 7.24); Cosmic Potato Podcast Network.

Next time, we’ll be talking about Aggretsuko, so stay tuned!

Rough Transcript of Episode 34 below:

This program is part of the cosmic potato Podcast Network for more shows like this. Visit our website at cosmic potato dot com.

Hi, this is shaped, and this is Virginia and this is… Wait, you’ve never seen a podcast dedicated to discussing well-known movies and TV shows that one of us has never seen a at that at that I use it is led turn on my universal translator.

I should use English today. Where you’re discussing.

Wait, you’ve never seen Mars attacks exclamation points.

You didn’t hear the explanation point in my voice, so I just wanted to make it explicit. I see, so up front when you have a couple of trigger warnings, one of the earliest scenes in the movie, there’s a herd of cattle that just run by and they’re all on fire. So that was a little disturbing, which is not a way the Martians kill later.

I don’t know, they don’t really explain why that happened, to the establishing shot of the New York City. Skyline includes the World Trade Center, which, of course, this is film before 2001. so, if that is a little unsettling, to you, I know it still can be upsetting to some people, just prepare yourself for that, that it feels weird. It feels weird to see him.

And then one of the scenes with Jack Black, the military guy they use the R-word, which is not very nice.

Well, they’re not next people, that’s true.

I’m not making excuses, I’m just explaining yes.

So what three things were you expecting from this movie?

I was expecting that Martians would be attacking earthlings.

Okay, let’s move on. I’m just getting a…

I expect that it will be set in the future complete with futuristic fashion like a toothbrush. So based on the poster by the…

Okay, right, right.

I do not expect a cameo by Marvin. The Martian.

Oh, I… So that’s a… That’s my three things.

So did you expect to like it?

When I looked at the poster, there were a lot of big names ’cause you know they put the names on the poster. And I’m in Jack Nichols and Glen close big Hollywood names, so I was thinking the and-a-half stars.

Okay, so what is your one sentence TV Guide summary? You’re smiling when the red planet can no longer support life Martians decide to invade earth and use both natural and human resources to survive.

So now that’s when we need what are…

I had no idea what to expect, way more thoughtful.

“A Mars attacks that Mars is going to attack something that’s… So you weren’t so like “kitching these… The whiteness is wrong, but I… It’s definitely with a wink and a nod. Like if I had known Tim Burton was directing it before I did this, I… Before I wrote this stuff down it might have been a little different, right, but I didn’t realize, Tim Burton was involved until we were actually, watching movie and it said directed to Burton right?

So, IMDB says about this 1996 movie, which is P13 by the way, I forgot the violence was such as it in a… In this movie is a… We kind of engage.

These people were getting toasted to skeleton, so yeah, absolutely. It distorted the rise as well. The bones are left, it’s March. In technology we don’t understand, you could say fourth degree burns because that’s all the way down to the bone, right?

Oh, I don’t know, for the greater so 16 minutes comedy sci-fi I guess this is when you call it comedy sci-fi. I don’t know, maybe it should be funny or… Yeah, it’s not a new IT, that comedy sci-fi I’m thinking Galaxy Quest, I’m thinking space balls although it’s more fantasy.

Well, it’s a party.

Yeah, I mean, I’m not really complaining.

I like this movie. And it was kind of a love letter to crappy 1950.Yeah, I wrote something about that anyway, I’m not even getting to the point of me talking so I… The IMDB summary of this movie is earth is invaded by Martians with unbeatable weapons. And a cruel sense of humor.

They had no sense of humor.

I do not run away. We are your friends as they’re killing everyone that’s kind of…

So out of a sense of you over…

I thought they were either, there was either some malfunctioning with the communicator because they had said If you do something wrong, then we won’t be able to communicate effectively. Or that Mars was like opposite world and they were really… Were your friends. Means we’re gonna flip and kill you right here.

That like Bizarro World.

So yeah, I ate…

I mean, they invented a technology that would suck up all the energy from a nuclear weapon and the alien a breath it in, helium and changes a boys.

Yeah, that was that any at… So, Martians definitely were attacking and killing earthlings as I suspected.

It seemed like it was set in present day, or not really futuristic and there was no Kami by Marvin the Martian. So yeah, there was plenty of people, but I think I might be getting ahead of myself.

So it wasn’t what I expected, but I still enjoyed it. The only complaint I had was like the Martians killing the earthlings. There was maybe a little bit too much of that.

Not that these are battle scenes, but as sort of a comparison, if you have a 30 minute battle scene that can be completed in 20 minutes and the ute extra ten minutes just seems to drag on, that’s kind of like, “Okay you’re killing earthlings got it. Some of them are red, some of them are green. Don’t really know why I… But I understand you’re decimating the human population, right?

So at this point, I don’t need to see any more about… Let’s move on with the story.

You need to have a point like in Saving Private Ryan, the first 20 minutes, okay, I understand they could have compressed some of that a bit but no, I think a point was trying to be made. And they’re trying to get us in the chaos and the horrible-ness of war, but that’s a drama, right? Not a comedy, but a city comedy in fact.

So I kept it at four stars.

You bumped it up to four.

Yes, I really didn’t like it after I realized timbre, was directing it also. Danny Elfman… Did the music which we had talked about when we did beetle juices that they’ve had kind of a partnership for a business partnership, not a romantic partnership.

Well, we don’t know about it.

I mean, it could be whatever it… So I figured it might be a little more kitchen after that point. So we don’t actually ever find out why the Martians have come to earth. There’s no… We need resources.

It’s a good point, or… So that kind of reminded me. Have you seen the original War of the World, yeah, it was a bit like war, the World.

We never understand why the aliens have come to our planet, we only know that once they breathe our air? They die a well, it’s the back tire it is the bacteria. Yeah, the boilers at a in a tour in… So this one is like, “Oh we don’t know why they’re here, but once they hear “yodeling they’re dead.

I ate so then I started, I started putting the connections together, like, “Oh this is like war of the worlds, and I’m totally blanking on the day. The Earth stood still, like, “Oh those kinds of movies where it’s similar, but just sort of absurd, right?

There’s just a dash of Ed Wood in there too, in this movie, which now what that is Edward is a movie is a movie that I believe it’s on our list, so I don’t wanna say two on about it, but I… Yeah, like goofy Monster and creatures from outer space and space. alien movies from the 50s. Tiburon was a big fan in. Definitely influenced by… Do you know something else? It reminded me of which also came out in 96, so this came out at the end of 96 November, December of 96 on Independence Day with Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum came out July 4th weekend of 1996. so I was also keeping that in mind, while we were watching. Like, “Okay yeah, at first, they believed that the lander here it like no good intentions and out. Our welcome was in a “kotte at A… And then I… The aliens just blow apart the White House and the sky scrapers that that one stripper is on top of or whatever. Remember, she’s like, “Oh I can and take me. And then, the killer Titanic.

So was that also reminded me like… Oh, at first you got a ton to… Okay, and then they… Oh no, but it’ll be fine. Let’s invite them for a Congressional address, after they kill everyone in the desert.

That’s what I’m saying. Why would you let have anywhere near your elected officials?

Yeah, yeah, that’s very ridiculous. I do wanna say something about all of the people in it, ’cause there’s all big stars and up and coming to start, like Natale apartment is in it. When she was… She’s the first daughter.

Yeah, taffy “haftar your name to it. Very good on a sand.

Yeah, Jack Nilsson Glen close is the First Lady.

Oh, ’cause the… In an short… Yeah, Christina Applegate was in it.

Oh right, right, Sarah Jessica Parker was the…

I did see fashion lady the…

Here’s Ross, there’s Ronan here’s president. Was that professor that was like the aliens are in advanced civilization so of course they must be at a space full and in light it and I’m like, “Yeah right, the Famous last words peers Brosnan famous last words and that he becomes the Capita Ed, he should have listened to me yelling at the TV.

So all of the people in it at least this is what this is what I’ve heard, obviously, I’m just gonna say it. So it’s true, it’s all a call. Went out in Hollywood, and say, “Hey if you love those old alien movies from the 50s, like We’re doing this movie, so come do this with us because the… So, so evidently being a fan of the genre was a, a pretty Rector.

Oh I see, so then everyone was like, “Oh we wanna be in it.

How come Donelson got to play two characters and everyone else played one because it was the ‘1990s and he’s Jack and Nicholson yet, that’s why… Oh, and I would like the record to reflect that I set before the aliens started shooting everybody up, I said they’re all gonna die at at the airport or wherever the hell they were… And in the House of Representatives, I said out loud, they’re all gonna die. This is a terrible idea, and that’s…

I don’t have the… The pretty much did.

Yeah, that’s what happened.

You a bit of a South there.

Indeed, a… It was based on a book called Mars attacks by the top company. Did you see that and are you got it as I’ve been in… Wow, I don’t know what kind, I don’t know if it’s like a novel or a comic book or… I de-saw it in the credits and I wasn’t sure if you knew more about it.

The top Matt’s the the makers of baseball cards.

Oh yeah, so I wanted… It is one of those pop.

Maybe I a book.

Are you ready for the Becket St.

I can I guess, first, I’m not looking at your screen, okay?

He failed no pass.

I did, yes.

Oh wait, let me guess.

The First Lady in the first daughter.

Yeah, so, so, Marsha is the First Lady and tape is the first daughter and they talk about the terrible decorating in the rose out room but also at the very end of the movie, the grandma, she’s actually named Florence, Florence, Norris talks to is happy about the Congressional Medal owner, she’s getting right, so… Yeah, I so it’s happy.

Stay is talent presidents at the end I was wondering that because Jack “longeron is dead, all of Congress is dead Lin close is dead.

Yeah, you have immediately go to Speaker of the House who is presumably dead, right?

Well, now, who’s the Vice President, we don’t know.

Yeah, it wouldn’t be a joint. Was it a joint session of Congress that would have… So with houses, I don’t know it’s bad for government. Well, oh yeah, and they re-appeared to be… Nobody else alive or they didn’t even seem to be a crowd where they’re gonna… Because they are getting their medals, I love that they had a mariachi band plan, was it the Star-Spangled Banner, was in America the Beautiful a pretty series we started making that that’s awesome, that God manner. So well, I’m surprised it didn’t have the doers just in case, yeah. How do they spread the message that “yodeling would work to kill the alien?

I mean, they broadcast-ed it over the radio, but they only go so far and you would have to… I could see connections being made.

So I did like this movie, but I… The plot-wise it was… It’s kind of bad, I think by design because it doesn’t… So those two kids, there’s two kids.

Oh, that got busted playing in the arcade by their mom who drives the bus, right?

Yes, played by Pam Greer yes.

And their dad was Jim Brown.

Yes, in I am here in the anti… And the two kids, they get a hold of the alien guns and then they start, so the aliens can die by their own guns. So I’m like, “Oh okay, this is a way to kill him and it’s like, No, no, no, violin will take care of the rest of us I…

Oh, okay, I… So, it didn’t seem to know where it was going, but it also, it also was very funny to me. Like, Okay, you’re in the middle of this crisis aliens have invaded Earth and you’re still having White House tours, so that that’s seems like the White House would be un-locked down to prevent any alien intruders.

It seems like everything everyone would be like a shelter in place situation to where you were right, especially after they started blowing people away.

And then Michael J Fox how Redis Was he letting me… It’s 1996, not 1960… What’s with the Boone due?

The strange lady you just met. Use some common sense, that’s all I’m saying.

Yeah, that’s a good character though ’cause you hated them.

True, true.

Usually I see my good day Fox, and I’m like, “Oh I love back to the future. So if you’re able to play a character and I hate him, it’s like, Oh I got you, that’s good, I think.

So there are no whole lot of pop culture references that I understand now, but it made me think of something in particular there’s an episode of The Golden Girls, where, where Rose has some sort of medical emergency and she had a dream that she died and that…

Oh, I know where you going, sorry I… During her dream, her and her and blanch and Dorothy had agreed to get their heads frozen after they died, so they could just get replacement bodies when the technology was available right?

So the scene is they’re in the kitchen but it’s just their heads on plates of ice on the kitchen and they’re like, “We’re head or heads and they’re very distraught then, so feel walks in, walks in. She’s not a bad she’s like, “They’re well, asking her. How did you get a body so fast? You didn’t tip the guy.

So, seeing peers’ bros in and Sara Jessica Parker’s head rolling around the spaceship made me think of La generous in during the were heads, and by the way, good for Sarah Jessica Parker agreeing to get the body of a dog.

Oh my God, I don’t think many actress is… It is a totally… They meticulously, oh my God.

And even that little bit of acting, when the dog sits, down, starts scratching the dog to the see the Jessica Parker, head and she has that any way that look at him and… And the dog had is on her body. That was a little disturbing.

So, yeah, it was a… Why didn’t they put Pierce Brosnan head on something the… Yeah, they see the so side-tracked with attacking earthlings.

Yeah, they had the Michael J Fox a severed hand that was kind of walking around, right?

It seems like they had some experiments moving forward.

I gotcha, I…

I was at the point, maybe there was a whole… Yeah, we’re here to kill them, but we’re gonna take some pieces and we like to do strange, strange tests.

They do their own epic show with alien hands a hate to… Yeah, I oh, my goodness. So how would this movie… I’d be different, with today’s technology.

Well, there’s not a lot you can do to go up against unstoppable Martian armaments. I, I kind of laugh when the general is in his jeep and he is calling His reinforcements or whoever on the gigantic like bigger than a Zacharias, brick phone.

It was a gigantic phone or to aren’t those one of those isn’t that really a radio, right? But I think they’re smaller. No, well, yeah, yeah, I… But yeah, I doubt in 20 years, our weapons and government have progressed to the point that we could take on a innovators.

It just wouldn’t happen.

So yeah, I don’t know that it would be too different.

The eyes I may be disseminating the information.

He then wore.

So it’d be more… You could just put that on to the task.

The line stops there.

I lay this sound clip, and you can kill any alien around.

That’s a good point, I hadn’t thought of that.

It would make more sense to… Do you have anything else to add? So, that about wraps it up. You can find us on iTunes and Stitcher and also on the cosmic potato Podcast Network at cosmic potato dot com. Returns Crips and links to what we talked about are available on our website at weight. You’ve never seen down com… We’re on Facebook and Twitter, and your weight-ins.

It also Mohave never seen a camel.

Not in a…

Leave us some feedback, and let us know if you have any suggestions for movies, we should watch Spenser show for today. Next time we’ll be watching a…

I agree to go a gate to go… We, I’m excited thanks for listening.

1 thought on “Ep. 34 – Wait. You’ve Never Seen Mars Attacks!?

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